Some years ago, while in Denmark, I visited a Laughter Club in a small town. While having dinner, Laughter Leader Heine Hansen, told me he first learnt about Laughter Clubs from a newspaper, and immediately joined one, as soon as it opened in his area.
He motivated his mother to accompany him to the Laughter Club, as his wife initially refused and snubbed the idea. Later, out of curiosity, she attended one Laughter Session and was surprised to find how so many people could laugh so much at absolutely nothing. In fact, she even admitted laughing the hardest ever in her life.
Heine’s acknowledged he was a very serious person working on the computer the whole day, in a textile factory. But, after joining the Laughter Club and attending the first few sessions, he found a significant change. Whenever he walked through his office, his colleagues would smile at him, which was rather unusual. It really surprised him. On inquiring, his colleagues said that they were just returning his smile as they found him smiling like never before. Heine’s realized that it was a change in his behavior and attitude that had brought about a change in the behavior of others. He was just getting back what he was giving. A smile for a smile!
Mirroring In Relationships
Dr. Clifford Kuhn in his book ‘The Fun Factor’ says, ‘The number of smiling people I see is the reflection of how much I am smiling.’
It is amazing to see how much we act like mirrors to each other in our relationships. If you are getting negative responses from your spouse, friends and from people who are in relationship with you; it could be that unknowingly we are meting out a similar action.
Here’s something very interesting I’d like to share. Years ago, when I did not have much money I used to feel edgy if my wife Madhuri wanted to buy something, especially while traveling abroad. Being a typical ‘shopaholic’, she loved picking up knick knacks from every country we visited. Scared that I may not be able to afford the bills, I would try and dissuade her by saying,” Darling, I don’t think we need this; we have a similar one back home”. I felt awful at having to refuse her simple demands, but at that moment in life, I was helpless. It went on like this for few years, after which my financial condition greatly improved.
Now, money-wise we are much better off. Today, I don’t think twice before buying anything. But, much to my surprise, Madhuri stops me from being a spendthrift. Whenever I pick up something from the shop, she takes it away and says we don’t need this; it is sheer wastage of money. I wondered what the reason was behind her strange conduct and soon realized she was just mirroring exactly what I had done with her years ago. She was giving me back what I gave her.
This is very true in all relationships. Unconsciously, we do several things to others and when they do the same unto us, we sometimes get offended. Remember, others will always treat you the way you treat them. So in case you don’t like what you get from others, it could be that we are treating them in a similar manner. Your own actions are responsible for people’s reactions; they decide what comes your way; be it good or bad.
Even Thoughts And Intentions Get Mirrored
Have you ever wondered that even without saying anything to someone, why do they react unfavorably? There is a kind of unsaid negative aura that surrounds the relationship which makes people act and behave negatively towards you. Let me explain why this happens.
We communicate with people not only through the words we speak and the actions we do, but also at a very subtle level. Many times, we think negatively about others, talk ill about them behind their backs and harbor some sort of hatred. Though we seem to think the other person will never know our intentions, but this is not true. Mysteriously, all this gets transmitted and communicated in the form of negative energy which travels like a wave. Your intentions are mirrored by others and much to your surprise; you find yourselves at the receiving end.
Therefore, always be mindful not just of your spoken words, but also of your thoughts and feelings, because what you say to yourself in your mind about other people, sooner or later will get back to you. Remember, what goes around comes around. This is the Law of the Universe.
Love & Laughter