Almost all of us, at some time in our life, have been bothered by constant provocation and pestering by some people leading to absolutely infuriating situations hard to deal with. You will find yourself getting sucked into a vortex of negativity and frustration. So how does one deal with it? Either one has to give in or resort to helpless reasoning, which most times does not work.
Even as I dwell on this matter, my dog Daisy is pestering me to play with her… and while tackling her impatience and continuous demand, I realized here is a lesson to be learnt... And I did just that! I hope my simple story will help you too…
Every morning at 7 am, I walk my dog Daisy to the office where my staff works and resides. Much loved by everyone, Daisy has become quite a center of attraction. She wants to play all the time, and demands constant attention, which is rather disturbing to us as we do our daily Laughter Yoga session. In fact, the more we try to ward her off; the more playful she gets. This actually interrupts our sitting.
Initially, I shut Daisy out of the room, but she barked relentlessly, and I was forced to let her in. Then I got a sudden brainwave. I asked everyone in the class to completely ignore her and not to give her the slightest of attention. She tried licking my hands and running up to another staff member, but no one responded to her provocations. After a while, weary and exhausted, she sat down on one side and stopped interrupting the session. That was a Eureka moment! We managed to continue or session in peace and at the end of it we even initiated a dialogue program on the same subject on how to deal with such situations… and all the time Daisy sat in a corner looking at us and wondering why the unexpected apathy. Let me tell you, it wasn’t as if we loved her any less; it was just our way of dealing with her incessant trying behavior!
A simple approach of ignoring and avoiding helped tackle the problem. It is true that the more attention one pays to such people or situations; the more aggravating they get. But, if you decide to pay no heed, it makes somebody be quiet and the whole scenario becomes calmer with less frustration and annoyance.
So, here is the summary of the lesson learnt:
Sometimes people have their own problems and they want to get you involved by drawing your attention. Now, if you keep on reacting and getting involved, they draw more energy from it and will try to spill their whole glumness on you. If you give undue attention, you will find yourself trapped in their negativity. This is exactly what they want. Therefore, the choice is yours, whether you want to get involved or not. You can completely ignore such people and not fuel their negative energy.
On the contrary, if you do pay attention, remember to give it to the right kind of people with a positive attitude. This will cultivate and enhance some good things in your life and help you achieve your goals.
So you see, I still take Daisy to the office, but have managed to keep her from disturbing us in our work. This way, she has learnt to be more submissive and we have learnt the right approach to tackle such demanding situations.