Your True Identity

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Have you ever lied to yourself and tried to evade the truth? Have you ever discovered your true identity in the midst of different roles one plays in life?


It is difficult. In this story I'm going to share with you what I learnt from one of my spiritual masters in India about who I am and what is my true identity?


We have two personalities within us – An actor and a spectator. The actor plays different roles e.g. I’m a medical doctor when I see patients, a teacher when teaching Laughter Yoga, a husband with my wife, a brother with my sisters. While playing these diverse personas, I keep stretching different rules every day according to the mind, and the needs of the people I interact with.


Even as we take on these roles, there is someone watching us play them – it is the spectator. It clearly knows the reality; when we lie due to compulsion, hide facts or say something wrong, the spectator is the true inner self, the conscience, the soul or the ultimate reality - a part of the higher consciousness, which constantly keeps a watch and makes us aware of our actions. The actor on the other hand is a part of the thinking brain, ego or the intellect which is the lower consciousness and acts in accordance with momentary needs.


This story reflects on how I managed to identify the actor and the spectator within me which helped me to become a better person.


In October 2001, I sent out a newsletter with an article on the inner spirit of laughter. In one of the paras I wrote:


“If you laugh in the laughter club, and later shout at your partner at home, it does not make any sense. Laughter is not a physical phenomena; it has to come from within - right from your heart. It must reflect the inner attitude towards other people…”


Now this piece of advice which I wrote was actually given to me by the wife of a laughter club member in Mumbai. She came to the club and very sadly told me that though her husband laughed in the club, he would go back and shout at her at home. She questioned me if I was teaching people to laugh only in the clubs. She then went on to tell me that it was all futile if people did not practice in real life what they learnt in these clubs. She left me thinking and had taught me a great lesson that one must practice what one learns or preaches.


In response to this newsletter, a few days later, I received an e-mail from Sheelu Srinivasan, head of a social organization saying though she respected my work and what I was doing, it was wrong of me to write someone else’s viewpoint without acknowledging the person. Calling her just a laughter club member was not right.


It suddenly dawned on me that without even a blink, I had used the woman’s advice with no mention of her name or identity and had projected her opinion as being my own. I knew I had lied to myself.


For a moment, I tried to evade the criticism with the excuse that she did not want her name to be mentioned. Then all at once, my inner voice told me that I was trying to cover up and escape from reality. I had indeed made a mistake. The spectator within me knocked on my consciousness and said, “You are lying. This is not the truth. Why can't you admit your mistake and apologize instead of giving false explanations.” I felt so guilty and was ready to admit the truth.


I thanked my Inner Buddy, my authentic self for following the righteous path. I immediately replied to Sheelu and apologized for my mistake. I even acknowledged the lady who gave me such a profound piece of advice.


Well then, remember whenever you lie to yourself, there is someone watching. All you need to do is to listen to your Inner Buddy and follow what is right and the truth. The words we speak, the actions we do must be in sync with our inner self.


When the actor and the spectator are in sync, you will be at peace and will be able to live to your fullest potential. Everything will flow with effortless ease without much struggle.


This article is from Dr Kataria's Book "Inner Spirit of Laughter" . You can download the E Book for just USD 8.95. To Buy Click Here.

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